no shit


from the road... and no shit01 Jun 2008 10:17 pm

Question:  How can one ask a woman NOT to vote for Hillary Clinton solely on the basis of her gender without making oneself sound sexist and bigoted?

Quick Answer: One cannot, apparently, regardless of the fact that should someone take the exact opposite stance (for example, someone saying I* WILL NOT vote for her just because SHE IS a woman!) with the same primary factor being gender – this someone IS a sexist and bigot.

*That is not to say I wouldn’t vote for her, or Barack Obama.  I’ll vote for whichever candidate the Democrat party trots out, but it bugs me when people make ignorant statements, like they’ll vote for a woman JUST because she’s a woman, or will vote for a black man, just because he’s black.  Vote for who you believe in, not who you identify with most in terms of genitalia or skin color…  We’ve got more important issues at hand these days.

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did you get a copy of the memo? and from the road... and no shit01 Jun 2008 02:08 pm

never do more than TWO of the following THREE simultaneously.

1) masturbate to porn in your hotel room
2) without the latch on the door
3) while *listening* to said porn with noise canceling headphones on.

It’ll make things a lot less embarrassing for both you and the hotel employee who is coming to:
service the room
drop off an amenity
return dry cleaning/laundry
NOT see person masturbating on the toilet.

This message brought to you by the Frequent American Travel Society (FATS).
That is all.

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OMG and Random Observation and from the road... and no shit06 May 2008 03:52 pm

When I log on to ESPN.com I expect to read some sterilized account of some young, rich spoiled brat running amuck, drunk with fame and cash.  But, this is getting rediculous!

The headline for the four above linked articles follow, for those that don’t feel like clicking through:

Henry appears in court for pretrial hearing
Police: Benson appeared drunk, was ‘combative’
Sources: Bullet casings came from Harrison’s gun
Falcons linebacker charged with battery
Ex-Lion Porcher sentanced to community service
 

There is exactly ONE NFL headline that isn’t related to some type of crime or violence.

I guess you have to be a scocipath to play in the NFL.
Or do I.T. for an event management company in Fairfax ;)

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OMG and RANT! and Random Observation and did you get a copy of the memo? and from the road... and i probably should be working now... and no shit and review23 Feb 2008 03:19 pm

The List:
February 2008
Gift cards:
  Due to my backlog of holiday and birthday gift cards to Kohl’s, (thanks Mom, Dad, Judy!) I purchased:

A Ralph Lauren sport jacket to replace a crappy Dockers blue blazer that I haven’t seen since 2005 when I may have left it at an ex-girlfriend’s house.  Yeah, 2005, I don’t have to dress up too often for work.

A pair of Nunn Bush dress shoes that are WAY more comfortable than stylish.  Kent is the model or whatever.  Kent is also the name of a Swedish rock band.  Highly recommend both.

and

Two pairs (one Haggar and one Dockers) of wrinkle resistant dress pants, ‘cause I can’t/don’t iron hung over.

I got all that crap for $22 after applying my gift cards.  That’s pretty awesome, eh?

I was considering going to Goodwill to grab a jacket, but think I made out better with Kohl’s as I wouldn’t have purchased second hand shoes.

Mom also hooked me up with a gift card to CircuitCity, which I planned to use for Guitar Hero, but I’ve not yet purchased (hint hint, PS2, please). 

With Apple reducing the price of the 1GB Shuffle to $50, and having a $30 gift card, I went ahead and picked up a silver Shuffle.  Sized as big as a book of matches, it will hold 200 – 250 songs, roughly.  I’ve got 150 on it now, about three quarters full. 

This will replace the spot in my backpack left when I decided to relegate my 4GB Green iPod mini to bedroom duty.  TheGirl got me a Sony iPod dock clock radio for X-mas, so greenie’s been living in the alarm clock.

Check the Shuffle out.
For $50 it’s a hell of a little mp3 player.

Nancy got me an eBay gift card, which is basically a PayPal.com gift card, which I didn’t even know existed.  Which brings me to my next thing of awesomeness on The List:
 
Buying Authentic Jerseys on eBay:

I started selling some of my replica jerseys on eBay a couple months ago.  While searching around and comparing prices I started finding new authentic jerseys that I liked at reasonable prices.  I’ve literally put together a heck of a collection.  With the gift card from Nancy, I got a navy Authentic Emmitt Smith jersey.  With the profits from my replica sales, I got a navy Authentic Witten.  I got a couple throwbacks too, a “double star” Aikman throwback (like the thanksgiving blue and whites they wear) and a long sleeve olde skool Bob Lilly – cotton, like a sweater.

Along the way, I figured out the difference between the Authentic, Tackle Twill, and Replica Jerseys.

The Authentics are the highest quality and most expensive.  A true Authentic from an NFL Team shop might run you damn near $300.  The Authentics are noted for their spandex-material side panels, embroidered numbers and letters, and cuffed sleeves.  My Emmitt Smith and Jason Witten jerseys are this type.

The mid range offering is the tackle twill jersey.  These also feature stitching instead of cheaper screen printing.  You’re not going to have the same thick material construction, or little details like the cuffs on the sleeves.  Most of the throwback jerseys are in this category.  My Aikman jersey is one of these.  These retail from $75 – $125

The cheapo selection is the replica.  Lightweight and flimsy, the logos, names, and numbers are screened on.  Retail is probably about $50.  These are also the only current Reebok jerseys that are sized with letters (S, M, L, XL, XXL, etc.) instead of numbers (48, 50, 52, 54, etc.)
THE “B” LIST:
Starbucks
: Showing up this month for their ridiculous attempts to resemble a corner coffee shop despite the fact they’re on every metropolitan corner and every suburban shopping mall. 

Why do they bother having a “today our barista “Rob” recommends the skinny sugar free cinnamon dulce latte!” sign?  A normal coffeehouse might put that up, with the actual favorite drink of the barista, or whatever he or she made when he/she showed up at work.

But Starbucks would have you believe that baristas at every location in existence made the exact same recommendation for a solid month simultaneously.  Amazing. 

Every barista at every Starbucks is currently recommending that drink?  Does Starbucks corporate think we’re retarded?  That we wouldn’t recognize this fact?  Or do they assume that all of their customers go to the same single Starbucks. 

Maybe I’m the freak, probably visiting at least ten different starbucks locations per month.  And I’m not even a fan!  It will continue as I probably still have about fifty-eleven dollars left in Starbucks gift cards.

Ever notice that the barista don’t go by their real names?  I wonder if corporate marketing research determined that the name “Rob” tested better to their target consumers than “Steve”.  Test it.  Call the barista by the name on their tag.  See if they look up.  They don’t.

Wax:  Women, pay attention: I don’t wanna beat around the bush:  Stop talking about your waxing ways in front of dudes.  Here’s the new rule of thumb: If you have to wax something on your face, don’t talk about it to anyone that you would potentially want in your face.  Or mention it in his presence.  It creates a mental image in our heads, where we are picturing you with a mustache, like a real, honest to god Magnum, P.I. ‘stache.  This is one of those things that we should not picture.  Like you taking a dump.  Or giving birth.  It’s easier for us to imagine this type of thing NOT happening if you’re NOT talking about it in front of me.

Speaking of waxing:
Lawsuits: Innocent until proven guilty or rich.  Associated Press reports that Lindsay Lohan has settled out of court with busboy Raymundo Ortega regarding to their 2005 car crash.  This despite the fact that California Highway Patrol determined that Ortega caused the accident when he made the illegal U turn.  Isn’t that some shit?  I know, I know, it’s Lohan, but she actually wasn’t the guilty party and still got nailed for $200,000.  Hehehe. 

Steroids in baseball: I’m tired of reading and hearing Roger fucking Clemens blame everyone in existence for his screw ups.  The fact he admits that two of his friends and his wife used illegal substances, but he had no knowledge of any of it.  Bonds, Clemens, Canseco.  McGwire.  These were the names of heros of mine growing up…

Bluetooth: The only thing this device should ever be used for is DRIVING.  Or pissing people off.  I am so tired of people using these as part of their regular cell phone usage.  The technology isn’t that good yet.  It sounds like crap.  I have a co-worker that lives by his and it drives me fucking nuts.  I can’t understand him when he’s on it.  It seems to pick up everything clearly EXCEPT his voice.  And I have to remind him how much I hate it every time he calls me.  He’ll probably read this.  Take me off the fuckin’ Bluetooth, Brian.

Designer Eyewear: I got new glasses.  Versace.  I feel like they look good but feel like flimsy little dinks.  They already broke once.  I’ve have them for six days.  Two pairs ago I had Armani Exchange glasses.  They were flimsy, too.  What’s up with stylish glasses being made of metal that would be rejected for paperclip construction?

I had to replace my old sturdy ones after they “became mangled” in New Orleans.  That’s the second pair of glasses I’ve lost or damaged on site.  JSA should sponsor eyewear to those of us that wear it and consume vast quantities of alcohol.

lyric of the moment:
“balls out, my life is a slut,
this dick don’t hit the bottom,
but i fuck the sides up!”

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OMG and from the road... and i probably should be working now... and no shit09 Nov 2007 07:50 pm


FUCK YEAH!

Thanks Gary!

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